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Lesson One: The One about Money
I have done much thinking, reading and listening in the past few weeks and I have come to the conclusion that just being an employee of an organization is not going to be financially viable for me in the future.

Remember your dream car? $140,000.

Assuming you earn $2000 a month, just how many months do you expect to work before you can finance that car? Are you going to eat? Go vacation? Have a house? Build a family?

Do your Math. Money miracles don’t happen, it takes lots of thinking, planning and investing. And to do that, I gotta make sure that….

Money is not my primary object for working – it’s extremely blinding and closes up my world. So, I am going to train myself to work for no money from now on. (Not work free – but do my best and not expect an equal return), it frees me up from being emotionally bonded to money, and opens up many possibilities. If you never been here before, you won’t know what I mean until you discipline yourself to think like that.

Lesson Two: The One with Emotions
Some people like to step on my tail. Whether their intentions are malicious or not; it’s not up to me to judge. But when someone steps over me, I feel angry, and when I’m angry, I get sarcastic.

I admit I am rebellious, and I am not the sort to suck up to higher ranking people in the society. Respect does not come from seniority (age) or rank. People who are younger can behave in ways that are so much more respectable (and vice versa). The bottom line is, respect is earned.

And the worst feeling comes when someone I respect steps on my tail. It hurts because I am not indifferent to them, and what they feel and think affects me. So much that I will die to want to send a cheap shot back at them and make them angry. But logically, that is not a good way to handle differences, right?

So I am learning not succumb to people or emotions. ’Cause think about it, if I am emotional and egoistic, then I am no better off than the very people who stepped on my tail. For they hurl cheap shots at people out of these very reasons.

Yup, there’s my two important lessons I learnt.

I had to turn a great client down yesterday, unfortunately the full time work I’m doing now has been eating into my non-working hours. You know how easy you can reject a client if he/she is a bitch? I had so much struggles with this because she was that nice: it ate into my conscience to have to tell her I cannot commit to doing the project anymore.

But it would have been worst if I dragged and trudged on yet not deliver the project. So yeah, I guess that’s the only comfort I have for now.

I think with the number of people leaving my department, I gotta get an admin card soon, and that officially means I’m gonna wave goodbye to life and brace myself for arrow showers in time to come. I know I complain, but I do try to enjoy the work here, so I think it’s really of no issue - maybe till I almost ORD. Gotta get the CFC, that’s the highest I can go short of having to take down a terrorist or some infamous criminal.

Shitty money teaches me to rely on other sources of motivation when I do projects, so perhaps this is a good (and humbling) learning experience for me. Will push forward, 16 more months to go.

I am here to give my best, not to chao geng. I may not be the best designer or scripter out there, but I’m not the worst either. Throw me a challenging project and I will deal with it, not moan about it. The allowance is effed up, but this is the army so what’s new?

Given all the shitty circumstances, I shall work on the things that I have control over and be at peace with the things I don’t. Through it all, I wanna get a lot of XP, raise my maximum HP and MP, level up and get many many off days.

Fight on, flasher.

I think certain movies are meant to inspire us enough to push us forward, and I think they work very well for me. Just watched 17 Again today, and even though it’s zac efron porn in every scene, it helps me remember that time is precious, and I’m only 17 23, once.

Kinda reminds me of Click, starring Adam Sandler, The Day After Tomorrow, Sunshine. Movies like that make me want to just jump up and live life and run.

Life can be more than ideal, I just gotta make it happen.

I’m only 17 once =)

I can only hope the women from this place know what they’re doing when they joined AWARE Singapore and took over it.

I’m sorry, I find it quite despicable to just round up your church members, join an organization whose values you don’t agree with, attend the AGM with the majority being your church members the people who support you, and take over it to promote your own agenda (or God’s agenda, so you profess).

You may win in the long run, but really, the way you do it most certainly doesn’t make your God look very good. Not in the eyes of the society anyway.

But you will just rationalize about how you need no approval of man and such (wouldn’t you?), and how people of the world will never fathom the things of God. So, well, you win, hope you are getting joy out of this takeover. And may the Lord bless your little, condescending and discriminatory hearts.